Super Naruto 3: The Reason Why
by NephilimBetch
Summary: Have you ever wondered how Sasuke began to be gay? Have you ever needed reasons for many things in Naruto and then needed a CATACLYSMIC ENDING? Well here we are. WARNING: may end up containing hardcore lemons.
1. Sasuke: How he went gay

Hello again my marshmallow chicken peoples. I luvses you all, but it is time to go on to another series, mostly because I am SICK of stalking the creator of Naruto. I mean, sending me hate mail and suing me were just all that I could take. Anyway, This is actually a collection of stories that explain the ifs, ands and whys of Naruto.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Chapter 1: how Sasuke went gay with Naruto.

It was just another day in the life of an emo Sasuke. He started his morning with his usual formula. 1: stare at your reflection and contemplate your meaningless life.

2: Cry over your discovery

3:Jack off over the soap dispenser.

4: Cry because the soap dispenser will be the only sex you will ever have.

5:purge because you are too fat.

6: put on rainbow underwear.

7: go to school (Cry more on bus)

Today would be different though. Little did he know that Today was the day that he would go gay. Class started as usual: the teacher asked him why the cuts on his arms did not heal. Sasuke said that they were scars from the time when Itachi raped him, but He had cut them himself. He then started to cry out of the misery and despair that he pent up.

Sakura walked up to him. "Sasuke, I-I-I LOVE YOU!" She screamed out the last words. She stared at him with a scared look on her face. Sasuke lifted his tear stained face from his desk and said "God you stalkers piss me off! I cry and cut because of you! My life is pointless, and I still can't end it all because you people always stop my yearly suicide attempt!"

"Like Last year." Sakura said.

FLASHBACK FLASHBACK

It was a cold and dark day. Sasuke had climbed the Hokage statues and began to sob. The local fire department brought out the usual chakra net, but didn't actually deploy it. He as usual looked dead, and wore the clothing of a homosexual. He screamed the pointlessness of life, and began to walk to the edge, until he spotted the nearby taco stand. Sobbing tumultuously he went and was fed a generous portion, which he later purged.

END FLASHBACK!

"You know what? I know how to cheer you up!" Sakura said.

"Really?" Sasuke asked, his eyes finally seeing some point to the void of his life.

"Before I start though, What are you working on?" Sakura asked.

She took a slip of paper that said: You know you are ugly when:

1 At 23 your husband or wife hates sex.

2 To go out with someone, you are asked to wear a paper bag.

3 The waiter confuses you with the pig.

4 you have a mom like that

5 you have sex with...

"Uhhh yeah, anyway, Watch!" Sakura said "Cheap rave music jutsu!"

Sexy music started, and Sakura began to dirty dance, slowly removing the little clothing she had on. She revealed a small, Sasuke shaped tattoo on her nipple, and a strange butterfly one on her ass.

MOMENTS LATER

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" came a blood-curdling scream. When Naruto looked in, sakura had only a small leather whip wound about her. She was slowly removing it. Sasuke ran from the room and accidentally bumped into Naruto.

"Naruto help me escape! Let's have sex!"

"Ok Sasuke!"

And that, my chickens, is how sasuke went gay.

ENDNOTES:

After the end of Super Naruto, I am going to start Super Sailor Moon or Super S&M

Luvses you


	2. Valentines Day Lust! Guest: Harry Potter

Hey! My marshmellows! I am soo sorry to have forgotten to update! So I am making it up to you in this new Valentines Day Update!

All references excepting the plot are not mine!

Harry Potter was angry. As usual in his dismal and pathetic life, the damn author decided to martyr him, and instead of killing his life, she killed his pathetic soul.

Now naturally, as it was the fifth book at the time, harry was suffering from angst. "angst, angst, Angst, Angst, ANGST, DUMBLEDORE!" He screeched, and as usual, dumbledore decided to show up and give harry everything he needed.

" So harry, what the hell do you want bitch?" Dumbledore asked in a well meaning, but rude sentence.

"Why the fuck didn't you save Sirius. I loved him! He was the closest thing to a parent I have ever had! And I had just got him to promise to buy me a brand new Firebolt 2 if I had sex with him, when he died! You could have saved him, but you just couldn't haul your fat old ass down three stairs now could you?"

"Hey! Don't call me fat! Fucking kid! I Hate you all! And some day I will kill you all like I killed Ron in book 9!"

At that moment, Jessica walked in with a gun, wearing a rather revealing dress on her purple-ish skin. She for some reason had, instead of the antenna, a purple skin color, a third boob growing out of her head, and a french accent.

" Does le Fucking Writer actually enjoy doing this to me? And Get it right fucker, it isn't a boob, its Scabbers."

"What the bloody hell is a scabbers?" Dumbledore said. "And why the hell are you in here?"

Without answering, Jessica shot him in the head. "Take that ya dead faggot! Jesus she just couldn't let him die in peace! He absolutely had to be gay." She said.

"What the fuck did you do? He wasn't supposed to die till the sixth book! In killing him you have changed history!" Harry yelled.

Jessica aimed the gun at him.

"Go on shoot me I don't care. I have lost my Godfather Sirius and I..."

With a loud bang Jessica shot him. She walked over to his cadaver and pulled a pack of jelly beans out of his pocket.

Hermione Screamed "That was my good hoe!" and Jessica shot her too.

"And now you gay assholes, I present the random valentines lemon!" Jessica said, and with a flourish, she flew out of the window.

Sasame walked into the room. Bodies had apparently been in here, but they had been magically removed from the premises. She didn't care though. She merely took her seat near the fire.

Moments later the New minister of magic, one Sasori walked in. He sat next to her and got her roaring drunk. "Ya know, She said , I would still do it with you even if I weren't drunk" She toppled onto a bed, and Sasori opened her mouth. He pulled down her pants just enough to get a hand through.

He began to probe her mouth with his tongue, hitting areas that made her dizzy from lust. He also shoved a finger into her repeatedly, making her wider and wider, eliminating the bleeding she was sure to get from him.

She bent down and began to suck gently on his hardening cock. She sucked away, slowly and gently, until he began forcing her to deepthroat it. She sucked harder and faster, and at last, he pulled it out and began rubbing it between her boobs until he came, this done, he shoved his cock into her until she screamed.

Pain was showing on her face but she kept screaming "Harder! Faster! HARDER!" she dug her nails into him until he bled, and with a strange euphoria on his face, he came, sending them into slumber.


End file.
